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How To Overcome Planner Envy

Posted by Gena Beck on Sep 5, 2019

How To Overcome Planner Envy

Last night I had a bit of a meltdown. This does not happen to me too often, but last night it certainly did. It is so silly to have a meltdown over something as inconsequential as planner envy, or envy of any sort, for that matter. Alas, my feelings are my feelings. 

I am blessed to be on an Influencer Team with women who are incredibly talented. That having been said, as I looked at their blogs, their IG stories and feeds, the number of people who respond to and support them on social media, and the overall stunning work they do, I began to have that feeling of being “less than.” My reaction may have been partially due to an (oh so thankfully) averted tragedy at my son’s college this week. I just don’t know. Nevertheless, there it was. Straight out of nowhere. The horrid green-eyed monster was rearing its ugly head. 

I found myself feeling envious. I was jealous, sad, and ultimately, felt like I was not good enough. I cried a little. (Well, maybe more than a little.) So, what the heck was going on?

I have learned a wonderful technique to help me look at why I might be feeling the way that I am feeling. I can then address those issues, should I choose to.

How To Overcome Planner Envy

The technique is called H-A-L-T.

I am to ask myself if I am hungry, angry, lonely and/or tired? So, was I hungry? Nope. Was I angry? Yes. I was angry that others had not responded to me the way I wanted them to. Was I lonely? A bit. I miss my son, and my boyfriend has been working incredibly long hours. Was I tired? Well, glory be. Yes, I was tired.  Now that I had identified what might be going on with me, it was time to act.

I chatted online with one of my team members (she provided great support), texted my son to say goodnight (it helped that he texted back), talked with my boyfriend (it was lovely that he was home), got into bed (I am so blessed to have a home and a bed), escaped into a book (I love to read), fell asleep (rejuvenating sleep is such a gift), and got a good night of rest (sighs contentedly). I awoke feeling much better. This morning, after prayer, I wrote my gratitude list and journaled about my feelings. The point is, I took action. It is okay for me to have a short little pity-party. I think we all need that sometimes. It is not okay for me to just accept it and sit in it for a long period of time. 

I do not like that I can still beat myself up this way. I do not like that I still tend to compare myself with others. I do not like that I sometimes feel not good enough, unaccepted, unsupported, and unadmired. (Talk about a self-centered attitude!)

How To Overcome Planner Envy

When I give it time and take some action, I ultimately end up in a better place, because here is what I know for sure. I am perfect just the way I am. I have talents. There are some things I do extremely well, and some, not so much. Just like everyone else in the world. Each of us is uniquely individual. When I accept who I am, just as I am, I am a much happier and content human being. 

Will I still try to improve my planning style, and strive to emulate those I admire? Yes, they inspire me! Will I also continue to look at social media, and sometimes have that intense planner envy (or home envy, fashion envy, age envy, relationship envy-whatever)? I am going to go out on a limb here (ha-ha) and say, yes, it is likely I will. I am human. Experience has shown me, however, I can always come back to a place of contentment. A place of feeling good enough. In fact, a place of feeling more than good enough. A place of acceptance with who and what I am. I just need to take some action to get there.

Do you ever feel intense planner envy? Or intense envy over anything you think someone else has or does? How do you overcome it? I'd love to hear from you in the comments below!

How To Overcome Planner Envy

P.S. You can use my code to get 10% off and my candle foil sticker die cut from Gilded Press with code JEAN10

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  • What a great topic to address! I’ve often felt like a planner fraud because I can’t have all the things I want to make my planner look good. I have had pity parties over ALL THE THINGS because social media has a way of stealing your joy if you allow it to. It’s easy to compare and see all the ways you might think you’re inadequate without taking the time to recognize all the ways you shine. I got some perspective when someone told me they wished they had my handwriting, which was being featured in my planner in an all-pen week. Thank you for reminding me that we can all shine using our talents.

    Geli on

  • Great topic!! I also think it’s a women thing!! I’m not sure we ever rid ourselves of feeling less than. For me, being a survivor of sepsis shock has allow me gratitude for the living. That has certainly curbed my envy of others. Gratitude in every single situation is my ticket for peace of mind. One thing I’m sure of, you are not alone! Keep talking about it, journaling and praying for acceptance! Hugs

    Sandra Tait on

  • @Cathy Maas-Thank you so much for commenting. I can’t tell you how much I relate. Don’t give up. Do YOU!! The rest will fall into place as it’s intended to. I promise!! (and if you leave me your IG handle I’d love to follow you!! I apologize if I already am and don’t recognize the name!! It’s me-not you-who is in error if I’m already following and don’t realize it!!) <3

    Jean J DiGiacomo on

  • This is so me and it causes me to hesitate to post alot of the time because I feel my spreads are not interesting or good enough. Or I feel my photography skills aren’t good enough. I also feel like I have no clue about staging or how to fully use social media like others do. It gets me down alot of the time. I sincerely want to be a planner influencer and be on PR teams. I’m guessing I’m right in that what I’m doing isn’t good enough or hesitation to post things is holding me back or heck I don’t know. But oh yes, this post hit home hard!

    Cathy Maas on

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